I haven't mentioned it, but I've been in an on/off relationship with a guy for almost 8 years... long distance. We have never met. We've talked about meeting, made plans for meeting, but just never did. Hell, One year I even went out and bought new underwear and clothes just because I had planned on flying there, and it didn't happen.
It was always me; I was always too insecure and unhappy with my body, though he has seen HUNDREDS of pics through-out the years, and he has seen me on web-cam numerous times, and he DOESN'T care... I always let my weight get the best of me, and insecurities took over and I just talked myself out of going every time. I can blame it on anything in the world. Money, family, other obligations, whatever... it's always been my weight. He doesn't care, and he isn't even "skinny" himself, but I just always freaked out whenever I'd really sit down and think about it; Imagining losing the guy I've been in love with since I was a teenager to my weight.
But seriously. It's been 8 years almost. Nothing is ever going to happen anyway if we don't meet. So I can a) Never go because I'm afraid he won't like me (which is ridiculous) and it not work out because I never gave it a chance or I can b) Suck it up and DO IT, and it (most likely) work out and we end up seeing each other as much as possible 'til one can move to where the other is.
Which is why I decided that I'll be buying a plane ticket and going to see him for a week or 2 at the end of July. Our first "officially" (not counting all the stupid break ups and junk) anniversary will be July 26th... so my idea is to go like July 20th through the 27th, or August 3rd depending on if I stay a week, week and a half or 2 weeks.
I'm doing it this time!!
And if my goal pans out as it is supposed to, I will have lost 50+ pounds by then. That isn't the only reason I made that goal; I really just wanted to give myself a reasonable goal with a reasonable amount of time to reach it, and I'd love to be decently cute during summer so I can wear cute, light-weight clothes without looking like a fat blob. If I keep losing 2 pounds a week, I should reach my goal by the middle or end of JUNE, which would be great because I'd have a whole other month to lose more and get in better shape and tighten up.
Reminder: I am doing this for ME, and only me.
I am not trying to lose weight to please some guy, and nobody should.
But, it does help motivate me and keep me going because I am serious this time! I am serious about weight loss, serious about eating healthier, serious about looking GOOD, and finally, serious about meeting the love of my life for the first time! (Although it does give me a really nervous sick butterfly feeling! Lol.)
So, there it is, and you're all holding me accountable... I'm not talking myself out of this one! Even if I don't reach my goal and only lose 5 pounds by summer (god forbid!) I am GOING! :)
By the way... I will probably buy my ticket in the next 1-3 months, so that I have it and there is no "ohhh i'm broke" issues later. And I -hate- blowing money, so if I do that I will HAVE to go anyway. :D
It was always me; I was always too insecure and unhappy with my body, though he has seen HUNDREDS of pics through-out the years, and he has seen me on web-cam numerous times, and he DOESN'T care... I always let my weight get the best of me, and insecurities took over and I just talked myself out of going every time. I can blame it on anything in the world. Money, family, other obligations, whatever... it's always been my weight. He doesn't care, and he isn't even "skinny" himself, but I just always freaked out whenever I'd really sit down and think about it; Imagining losing the guy I've been in love with since I was a teenager to my weight.
But seriously. It's been 8 years almost. Nothing is ever going to happen anyway if we don't meet. So I can a) Never go because I'm afraid he won't like me (which is ridiculous) and it not work out because I never gave it a chance or I can b) Suck it up and DO IT, and it (most likely) work out and we end up seeing each other as much as possible 'til one can move to where the other is.
Which is why I decided that I'll be buying a plane ticket and going to see him for a week or 2 at the end of July. Our first "officially" (not counting all the stupid break ups and junk) anniversary will be July 26th... so my idea is to go like July 20th through the 27th, or August 3rd depending on if I stay a week, week and a half or 2 weeks.
I'm doing it this time!!
And if my goal pans out as it is supposed to, I will have lost 50+ pounds by then. That isn't the only reason I made that goal; I really just wanted to give myself a reasonable goal with a reasonable amount of time to reach it, and I'd love to be decently cute during summer so I can wear cute, light-weight clothes without looking like a fat blob. If I keep losing 2 pounds a week, I should reach my goal by the middle or end of JUNE, which would be great because I'd have a whole other month to lose more and get in better shape and tighten up.
Reminder: I am doing this for ME, and only me.
I am not trying to lose weight to please some guy, and nobody should.
But, it does help motivate me and keep me going because I am serious this time! I am serious about weight loss, serious about eating healthier, serious about looking GOOD, and finally, serious about meeting the love of my life for the first time! (Although it does give me a really nervous sick butterfly feeling! Lol.)
So, there it is, and you're all holding me accountable... I'm not talking myself out of this one! Even if I don't reach my goal and only lose 5 pounds by summer (god forbid!) I am GOING! :)
By the way... I will probably buy my ticket in the next 1-3 months, so that I have it and there is no "ohhh i'm broke" issues later. And I -hate- blowing money, so if I do that I will HAVE to go anyway. :D
I think that is great motivation! Go girl!
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
ReplyDeleteThis post got me SOOOOOOOOOO smiley and excited for you! OMG! You're gonna do it! You're gonna lose weight and he's going to totally fawn over your svelte-self!
ReplyDeleteGO, GIRL! GO! I'm here if you need ANYTHING: support, encouragement, someone to calm you down if you get too excited about all this happy stuff happening!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Awww, thank yooou Chubby! Your excitement is getting me more excited! Lol. I -AM- gonna do it! It's crazy!
ReplyDeleteAWW YAY!! Thats exciting where does he live? Hopefully it will be somewhere fun so you guys can do amazing things together too. This is so cute. Good luck and hell yea your doing it for yourself no guy deserves having that much power over a woman. Me and you can keep ourselves motivated because I plan on hitting that 50 lb mark too by the end of june too. Then all us skinny/skinnier WW chicks need to get plane tickets and meet up with each other and have a nice girl time lol
ReplyDeleteThanks!! He lives in South Carolina, right near Myrtle beach, which should be pretty awesome at Summer time!
ReplyDeleteOh, that's great! I like that we have the same goals, and we hit our 20 pound mark around the same time too so that's pretty awesome! :D I'd love to have a get-together with fellow bloggers one day, it'd be pretty cool to meet the people that motivated me along the way. :D
Oh yeah and I'm not technically doing WW, although what I'm doing might be similar, and I have thought about trying WW. :)
South Carolina thats awesome you will def. have fun just don't get in the water if its in august!! Jelly fish central. I was supposed to go there in august don't know if that is gonna happen now. But wouldn't that be funny we ran into each other and it wasn't even a planned meet haha... Oh and what exactly are you doing diet wise then? It def. sounded like WW with your weigh-in's and stuff.
ReplyDeleteIt says at the end of this post: http://ashleysweigh.blogspot.com/2011/01/update-on-how-im-doing-and-feeling.html what my diet is, basically. I don't count calories or carbs though I do try not to over-do both. I came up with my own diet because I wanted something that worked for me, so I just cut certain foods out. It's pretty much just the basics, but to get rid of them really helped. :)
ReplyDelete